I was reading a lot of articles on Malaysia recently (some kind of Merdeka virus)… some of the articles sad, some poetic, and some utterly hilarious but some i think quite truly describes our Malaysia in a funny way. Here is one of the article i read that describes the top reasons why Malaysia is unique.

1. A Nation in Harmony. Where else can you find a nation where its diverse people live in such peaceful harmony despite the brazen institutionalized discrimination in almost all socio-political and economic spheres. Although there is a group of people who despite being born after the nation’s independence are still facing a mixed emotion of having a strong affinity to the country and yet feel no sense of belonging, there are just the minority and usually they migrate away rather than cause disharmony.

2. A Nation of Contractors. Where else can you find a nation with so many government contractors from the same race wherein for every 350 citizens there is one contractor of that race and miraculously, so many contractors (for some reason bear the name of “Ali Baba“) were rewarded with huge payoffs by the generous government while actually not performing the contracted job.

3. A Record-breaking Nation. Where else can you find a nation full of thoroughly optimistic gung-hos (chanting ‘Malaysia Boleh’) that despite the utter stupidity impossibility of some mega projects undertaken such as Tallest Flagpost in the World, Biggest Outdoor TV, Longest Teh Tarik in Space, etc (refer to the Malaysia Book of Records for a full listing of stupidity) the national leaders and people are full of pride and praise of these ‘achievements’. In fact, Malaysians are so keen on breaking records that it now also holds the highest record for the number of cars stolen per day per capita – 8 cars are stolen per hour in a nation of just 20 million.

4. A Nation of Many Royalties. (I am not referring to the MPs or the MBs). Where else in the world can you find a nation with so many kings (called Sultans here) that one third of the world’s kings are found in Malaysia. We have a king for every state except 4 states, which means we have 9 royal families and literally hundreds of princes and princesses. Despite the fact that many of us can’t remember all their names nor even what official duties they perform, no other nation can boast of so many royalties as we Malaysians do.

5. A Nation of undaunted criminals. Where else in the world can you find a nation with so many successful pirates that despite incessant raids and stringent enforcement, these Malaysians remains undaunted and continue to thrive and become the world’s leading producer of pirated DVDs. Malaysia also have the honour of having the most enterprising credit card fraudsters and is the number one supplier of fake or stolen credit cards in the World, notwithstanding our achievements in being the top car-jakers in this region.

6. Nation of Wealthy MPs. Where else can you find so many wealthy politicians and MPs who are ’so clean’ that they are beyond reproach, owning fine bungalows and luxury cars and yet are only paid a meager salary of around RM 5,000 a month. MPs in Malaysia are not just wealthy, they are also part time comedians because every other day you will find one speaking their minds and making everyone laugh (not referring to their oft ape-like behavior in Parliament).

7. A Nation with a Generous Government. Where else can you find a nation where the citizens enjoy so many holidays (apparently the most days in the world) and yet despite the very low productivity of the overworked civil service, our generous government have the power to declare even more days as holidays to enable our much overworked civil servants more long weekend breaks. In fact our generous government believes our civil servants are so overworked that they deserves not just the regular pay rise and longer tea-breaks but a hefty 35% increase in salary this (election) year. In similar veins, our government is so generous that the ministries overspent on project allocations by a whopping RM4.11 billion in 2005 alone. Not only that, our generous government also allows civil servants to owe them about RM 26 billion in unpaid housing loans. In order to keep our government as generous as ever, citizens are encouraged to tighten their belts.

8. A Hungry Nation. Where else in the world can you find so many thriving and delicious 24 hour food stalls (called ‘Mamaks’) on the streets, side walks and even carparks, that despite charging arbitrary prices for generally unhealthy meals prepared in unhygienic conditions, they still command such undying patronage. Malaysians are not just hungry for success but hungry all the time.

and for this reason, we are also…

9. A Nation of Diabetics. Where else in the world can you find a nation with so many diabetics – an amazing 9 out of 100 Malaysians suffer from it and has been ranked number one in the world when it comes to diabetes as the cause of kidney failure by the US Renal Data Registry and despite that fact, we have more mamak stalls per capita than any other nation, helping us consume more “sweetened condense milk” than any other nation.

10. A Nation with a Gracious Police Force. Where else in the world can you find such gracious police enforcement that despite so many citizens compiling traffic fines to the tune of millions a year, the police would (in the spirit of Mega Sale) offer fantastic discounts of up to 50% to encourage compliance with the law. And it is because our police is so gracious to the citizens that so many citizens felt it necessary to offer “ang pows” to them as a gesture of gratitude.

11. A Nation obsess with Beauty. Where else in the world can you find so many types of beauty pagents to cater for so many beautiful people of Malaysia. Apart from the Ms World, Ms Universe, there is also Mrs. World, Miss Malaysia Chinese International, Miss Malaysia Chinatown, Miss AFOS, and all kinds of (hits and) misses that if one is to throw a stone into the KLCC Concourse – one will probably hit a beauty contestant. And in order to keep the people beautiful, Malaysia has literally thousands of beauty salons & slimming centers – a fact you can’t miss as there are slimming center ads every 3 pages on the Star newspaper. (Incidentally, it is because of the large revenue from their ads that citizens are not paying RM2.60 for the Star today). This obsession with beauty extends to even our local councils (would you believe it) that they would spend millions of rate payers money to beautify our pavements, roads and their own homes as they please.

12. An Educated Nation. Where else in the world can you find a people so thoroughly educated that our children as young as 3 years old would be push to school and from then to adulthood enjoy endless expensive tuition to supplement their formal education. People in Malaysia are so educated that often times even in adulthood, we are still experiencing exam nightmares. We have so many private and public universities, university colleges, colleges and technical institutions (what have u) that we can even cater for foreigners especially women from China who not only get the benefits of our wonderful educational facilities but are also benefiting from our lonely men.

and finally…. we are

13. A Forgetful Nation. Where else in the world can you find a people so forgetful and forgiving that for all the dubious projects, outright corruption, rising crime rate and blatant nepotism, the people will still remember only all the good and wonderful things done by the BN government and forget all the negative news and reports and even their own protestations (Rate hike? toll hike?) in the last 6 months and thus vote unflinchingly for their return to power.

To the nay-sayers: Yes, perhaps we can’t boast of the highest ratings in transparency, integrity, justice and equality in the present government, but we Malaysians are proud to be Malaysians because we have our own national cars (though one is bleeding to death), our majestic buildings such as the 2nd Biggest Court Complex in the world (notwithstanding the floodings), boast of the 2nd tallest Skyscraper (notwithstanding it was build by Japs and Koreans) and Biggest Ikea store in Asia (notwithstanding it is Swedish).

Although there are plenty of negatives about this country, of which none of them relates to the present untouchable government, there are also lots of positives to win our neighbor’s admiration.

Every nation and people has their share of good and bad, and to blame the current insecurity, injustice, institutional discrimination and overt nepotism experience by the citizens of Malaysia plainly on the mismanagement and incompetence of the BN government is just plain unfair.

How can we forget that all the great and marvelo

us things the BN government has done over the 50 years to make this nation so great and marvelous?

It is a marvel that despite the increasing brain drain and exodus of top professionals to other countries, this nation is still rank among the top economies in this region … after Laos.

article above taken from Joshua3

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